Tuesday, May 12, 2009 @ 2:15 AM"Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important."
That's how I feel sometimes.
Anyway, now that I actually have readership (although not many), I realise that I cannot then directly say what I want. Not that I'm peeved about it or anything. I'm starting to get used to keeping things to myself. This is a new phenomenon. Even I'm surprised at myself. And actually, it doesn't feel too bad, or should I add a YET. I could make this a habit.
All along, I've actually felt that I cared quite a lot for the people around me, that I bother to pay attention to how people around me are feeling. But just 2 nights ago, I realised that it just isn't enough. There are always people who need caring for (or so I think) but where am I? Moping about stuff (I will overcome you, STUFF). I want to be there for people, I really do. & I'm sorry if I haven't been. Well, this isn't the first time that I've neglected people. So ashamed.
Is it too demanding of me to expect people to trust me? Sometimes even I doubt my trustworthiness (I was going to say reliability but no, I am not bringing history into the picture).
I have no idea why I feel pissed with myself for some things when I know it's not my fault. Yet, I feel it's my fault. Yes yes, I left Coherence in school today.
Oh my gosh I am still whining. Pfft.
So like, it's supposed to be me and History Notes alone time but I don't think it's happening any time soon. GOSH I hate my self discipline (or lack thereof). & right now, I am really feeling very ashamed of myself, of my actions, of my thoughts and everything I encompass. Pfft.
Just a little something to make me feel better;
"Hard work always pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now."
SEE SEEEEE IT'S THESE KIND OF THINGS THAT GIVE ME EXCUSES TO SLAAAAACK OFFFFF.
Sam Ang! I really wish I can spend more time with you. You are great company <3